I've become depressed since quitting my job to look after my sick wife

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER 40 years of work, I quit to care for my wife full-time. I thought giving up work was a good plan but it’s not worked out. I’m depressed and on medication.

I am 62 and my wife is 60. We have been married for 35 years and have two grown-up kids. I’ve worked outside most of my life. I was in construction for years before retraining as a bus driver.

I struggle even to do housework. I used to be active so I don’t get why.

My wife has lung problems and painful rheumatoid arthritis, so isn’t very active. She moans to me about the state the house is in.

DEIDRE SAYS: You made huge changes to your lifestyle which will take time to adjust to – and the repetitive nature of housework can feel disheartening.

Focus on one or two chores a day. Ask her for constructive suggestions instead of criticism but remember, she’s feeling the loss of her role.

Look after yourself as well as your wife. Make time for breaks and exercising, pursuing hobbies and keeping up with friends.

Find support through Carers UK (carersuk.org).

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