My husband wants us to try again after split but it's not him I long for

DEAR DEIDRE: A WEEK after meeting someone new, I left my husband. He wants us to try again but I love the other guy.

We are both 28 and got married two years ago. We had sex every other month but argued all the time – even on our wedding night. He can be aggressive.

I went to a party with a mate and made an instant connection with another man. He’s 30. We started texting. The messages got very flirty and then he said we should stop because I was married.

But I couldn’t help thinking about him, so I packed my bag and told my husband I don’t love him any more. I left him six weeks ago.

My husband says he still wants us to try again and part of me thinks I should give it a go, like my family say. But the other guy is the one I love, though we haven’t met since.

DEIDRE SAYS: This other guy shows no sign of wanting anything serious with you. A relationship with him is just a fantasy.

Focus on sorting out your marriage one way or the other. You can organise couple counselling through Relate ( and your husband has to understand that he needs to stop being aggressive.

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