Kate Lawler: ‘Women say I won’t know

Kate Lawler reveals women tell her she won’t know ‘real love’ unless she has a child… as she tries to break the taboo of not wanting a baby (despite her fiancé hoping she’ll change her mind)

Kate Lawler has revealed that her thoughts on having children – namely that she might not ever want them – provokes women to tell her she’ll never know ‘real love’ unless she does.

The Big Brother 3 winner, 39, appeared on Wednesday’s Loose Women to discuss the topic, which she addresses on her podcast Maybe Baby, with her fiancé Martin – known as Boj.

Boj would like to have children, but Kate is still unsure – leaning more towards not doing so.

Unfair: Kate Lawler has revealed that her thoughts on having children – namely that she might not ever want them – provokes women to tell her she’ll never know ‘real love’ unless she does

‘I’m hoping [the podcast] will convince Boj to leave me alone. He thinks it will make me change my mind,’ she said. ‘It’s tricky, we’ve been together for six years and I think he thought I would think differently eventually.’

On the series, the pair chat to different people – people with children, without, who want children and who don’t.

‘The one comment that gets me is when women say “you’ll never know real love until you have a baby”. My biggest fear is having a baby that I am pressured into having. Boj isn’t pressuring me though.

‘I am not maternal. I can’t just have a baby because he wants me to. Women should – and are – doing what’s right for them, not what society wants them to do.’

Maybe not? The Big Brother 3 winner, 39, appeared on Wednesday’s Loose Women to discuss the topic, which she addresses on her podcast Maybe Baby, with her fiancé Martin – known as Boj


Kate said: ‘I’m hoping [the podcast] will convince Boj to leave me alone. He thinks it will make me change my mind. It’s tricky, we’ve been together for six years and I think he thought I would think differently eventually’

Kate admitted she hasn’t looked into freezing her eggs, and that she has ‘never had a loud biological clock’.

‘Having a dog has done this to me!’ she joked, referring to her pair of pet pooches Baxter and Shirley. ‘I don’t have to give my dogs pocket money, they’re cheaper. I just feel like having dogs is great, they don’t wear clothes, I don’t have laundry to do. They don’t chat back, they never complain about food, I don’t have to worry about university fees!’

Kate also admitted that she worries about what would happen if she had a child and she and Boj split up.

Not maternal: Kate admitted she hasn’t looked into freezing her eggs, and that she has ‘never had a loud biological clock’

Fears: Kate also admitted that she worries about what would happen if she had a child and she and Boj split up

‘One of my fears is if we have a baby and then we break up and I’ll be left with a baby I didn’t want,’ she said. ‘I am not sacred of being a single mother, my twin sister is one and she’s killing it. Actually my bigger fear is pushing a baby out of my pansy!’

Kate summed up: ‘I love my life. I just want to live my life the way I want, without being judged.’

When launching her podcast, Kate declared that it was her mission to break down the stigma attached to women who don’t want to have children.

Mission impossible? When launching her podcast, Kate declared that it was her mission to break down the stigma attached to women who don’t want to have children 

The TV personality and radio DJ, from Beckenham, told Sky News last month: ‘I feel like we live in a society where women who are open about their desires not to have children are judged.

‘There’s a real stigma attached to women who decide not to have children and I think that’s got to stop.’

Kate added that now, in 2019, women are more in charge of their bodies than they’ve ever been, however this ‘taboo’ is still being met with criticism and judgement.

Since launching the podcast together, Kate said Boj told her he wouldn’t leave her if she does decide she doesn’t want to become a mother. 

Love: Despite her fiancé Boj being desperate to have babies, Kate said she doesn’t feel being a mother is something she was ‘put on this planet to do’

Family: Kate said she considers their two dogs, Baxter and Shirley, as her family and she’s very content with that

‘It’s the most torn I’ve ever been about anything in my entire life because I’m with a man I love, who I want to spend the rest of my life with and I would love to have a baby with him. I would. As in I would love to want to have a baby with him,’ she said.

She went on to add that when people warn her she might regret it if she doesn’t have children, or ask who’ll look after her when she gets older, Kate said it ‘gets her back up a bit’.

‘And when people say you don’t know what you’re thinking. “You’ll change your mind.” That’s actually quite insulting,’ she added, pointing out that maternal ambivalence is on the rise.

‘We’re just trying to do this podcast to help us and to help other people, we don’t want to offend anybody. But everyone should respect that not all women want to be mothers and that’s okay.’

So far Maybe Baby is proving a hit, with a string of five star reviews and many listeners commenting on the chemistry between Kate and Boj and their celebrity guests. 

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