‘I’ve had to work on my past traumas with the opposite sex’: Ashley James poses in a bikini as she details battling ‘gender disappointment’ over having a baby boy
Ashley James had to work on her ‘past traumas with the opposite sex’ after discovering she was expecting a baby boy.
The pregnant reality TV personality, 33, detailed her battle with ‘gender disappointment’ and told how after her initial guilt of wanting a girl, she’s now ‘excited to be raising a son’.
The former Made In Chelsea star showed off her beautiful bump as she posed in a leopard print bikini while enjoying a romantic ‘babymoon’ in Cyprus with her boyfriend Tom Andrews, 31, on Wednesday.
Candid: Ashley James posed in a bikini as she told how she had to work on her ‘past traumas with the opposite sex’ after discovering she was expecting a baby boy
The beauty slipped into a leopard print bikini by Elizabeth Hurley Swim as she gently caressed her bump during her winter getaway.
Captioning the snaps, Ashley broached the issue of gender disappointment, which she previously talked about earlier in her pregnancy.
She penned: ‘I talked at the beginning of my pregnancy about ‘gender disappointment’ (or I suppose more correctly ‘sex disappointment’ given that gender is the social construct) and how it’s a very real and surprisingly common thing.
‘It’s pretty taboo and there’s a lot of guilt surrounding those feelings mainly because we are so lucky to be pregnant, even luckier to have a healthy baby.’
Mum-to-be: The reality TV personality, 33, detailed her battle with ‘gender disappointment’ and told how after her initial guilt of wanting a girl, she’s now ‘excited to be raising a son’
Sharing how she’s changed her mindset after learning she’s not having a girl, she went on: ‘But it’s real, and I suppose I was just so excited to pass on everything is learnt through my experiences and coaching to empower a little girl.
‘Finding out I was having a boy forced me to do a lot of work my myself and my past traumas with the opposite sex. But I suppose even men are victims of toxic masculinity?’
Following her initial disappointment, the reality star told how she’s ‘excited’ to raise a son and instil the morals of a ‘respectful, upstanding human being.’
She went on: ‘But now, I’m so excited to be raising a son. A respectful, upstanding human being with empathetic outlooks who is courageous enough to stand up for himself and others. Like the son his daddy was raised to be actually.
Sharing her thoughts: Captioning the snaps, Ashley broached the issue of gender disappointment, which she previously talked about earlier in her pregnancy
‘I’m excited to encourage him to be whoever he wants to be, respecting his unique and individual personality rather than forcing him to conform to old stereotypes. I’m excited to listen to his worries and fears and encourage him to share his emotions and vulnerabilities.
‘It’s funny that for so long I never thought I wanted children, but now feel so connected to him. Especially surrounded by nature. I’m so excited to be his mummy.’
Earlier this month, Ashley described how she felt after being convinced she was having a girl.
She said when she first discovered her baby’s gender during an ultrasound scan she felt guilty because she wanted a girl to pass on her wisdom too but, upon reflection, is now ‘really excited’ about the prospect of raising a boy.
Honest: Ashley previously spoke out about her initial disappointment of learning she was having a son (pictured in August)
Ashley, who is a body confidence advocate, explained how having negative experiences with men impacted her outlook at first as she felt more comfortable being around women.
During a Q and A, one fan asked: ‘Can you tell us more about your gender disappointment? I think there’s a stigma around it.’
To which Ashley replied: ‘I think a lot of people feel guilty because: A) Having a baby is such a blessing they feel guilty to admit any disappointment
‘B) They worry people will judge them or think they won’t love their child
‘For me, I’m passionate about empowering women. I’ve spent the last decade on a huge journey trying to build self esteem, boundaries and confidence
‘I’d love to pass this down to a daughter.
Gender: The former Made In Chelsea star described how she felt after being convinced she was having a girl on Instagram on Thursday
Exciting: ‘I’m now really excited to know I can raise an incredibly respectful boy’, Ashley said
‘I also have had a lot of negative experiences with men, and learning I was having a boy made me deal with a lot of that and also work on separating my negative experiences from an entire sex.’
Ashley went on to say she is very feminine and is already outnumbered by boys in her house including her boyfriend and dogs Snoop and Biggie.
She continued: ‘I don’t know how rational that is as I know gender is a social construct anyway.
‘I’m now really excited to know I can raise an incredibly respectful boy.
‘Also there’s never been any doubt in my mind that I will love the hell out of this baby and I feel very connected to him, so please don’t mistake gender disappointment with lack of love.’
Exciting news: Ashley is expecting her first child with her partner of nine months Tom Andrews
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