ALEXANDRA SHULMAN’S NOTEBOOK: Being posh is back in vogue, so here’s MY how-to guide

David (now Lord) Cameron’s return to the Cabinet may or may not herald the return of the posh boys to politics, but it’s certainly part of a general new trend. Because posh is back, after years out in the wilderness when anything with even a hint of posh was deemed out of touch with the mood of the times.

For several years, most films, books and TV (with the exception of The Crown) have focused on issues such as social diversity, mental health and sexual abuse. Stately home backdrops have been hidden away.

But somewhat curiously, in what looks to be the dying days of a Tory government, posh has sneaked back in.

While historical posh has always had a following, with the success of Downton Abbey, Bridgerton, The Gilded Age and now with TV’s The Buccaneers (about a group of rich American girls in the 1870s trying to find an aristocrat husband during the London debutante season), contemporary posh had been put under dust sheets.

No longer.

Moss: Posh people like to appear as if they don’t care about what is posh, but they simply adore lists such as Haslam’s, especially if they can claim a smidgen of common for themselves according to Shulman who puts Kate Moss at the top of her posh list

Break away: So what is posh nowadays? Is it still dog hairs on the sofa, filthy food and tiaras? Read on to find out who and what qualifies… Apparently trips to the country is a strong contender

Emerald Fennell’s acclaimed new film Saltburn (though not exactly contemporary as it’s set in 2006 and shares the same story as Brideshead Revisited and Alan Hollinghurst’s 1980s-set novel The Line Of Beauty) explores the infatuation of a young man with his friend’s posher, privileged family. Rosamund Pike is pitch-perfect as the matriarch, a faded beauty who probably would once have been a Tatler cover girl. The ambience is hugely authentic – unsurprising, since Fennell, the daughter of the popular social couple, jeweller Theo and author Louise Fennell, would be an insider to that world.

On the book front, no doubt hoping to capture the huge worldwide audience that loved Lady Anne Glenconner’s memoir Lady In Waiting, the same publisher has released The Unlikely Duke, chronicling The Duke of Beaufort, Harry (Bunter) Worcester’s memoir about his irreverent but unquestionably posh life.

Appropriately, last week’s lavish launch party with Samantha (now Lady) Cameron in attendance, was held at the Turf Club, ties and suits required.

Designer Nicky Haslam, no stranger to the world of posh, has released his annual tea-towel list of what is common, spotlighting Aperol Spritz and the Cambridges all dressed in blue.

Of course, itemising such preoccupations is in itself a posh activity.

Posh people like to appear as if they don’t care about what is posh, but they simply adore lists such as Haslam’s, especially if they can claim a smidgen of common for themselves.

When I left Vogue, my successor announced he was getting rid of all the posh girls he thought worked at the magazine. This was somewhat to my surprise, as I hadn’t thought the almost totally middle-class staff would have qualified as remotely posh. In my view, most truly posh people don’t have office jobs and are strangers to PAYE.

But as posh people definitely do not say… no matter.

Exotic: Kenya takes a spot on Shulman’s ultimate posh list as she reflects on the definition of posh today compared to six years ago

Breakfast: Asking for ketchup with your eggs is also apparently a posh thing to do nowadays

Sweet tooth: According to Shulman posh people love to also have a bowl of jelly for dessert

It’s now six years since I left that job, and assuming that the supposed posh crew included myself, I am seizing what will no doubt be a brief moment of posh acceptability and own any poshness I can lay claim to.

So what is posh nowadays? Is it still dog hairs on the sofa, filthy food and tiaras? Read on to find out who and what qualifies…

Your club or mine?

Certainly some of the poshest spots I know in London are Robin Birley’s private members’ clubs – Oswald’s and 5 Hertford Street. The other day, Lord Cameron and Development Minister Andrew Mitchell were seen huddled up at the latter, while much of the past year’s Tory leadership fandangos have been plotted from one of its beautifully upholstered corner armchairs. During her brief tenure, Liz Truss was rarely out of the place.

Question: Who pays the bill?

Gorgeous as these spots are, they are extraordinarily pricey. Whereas there are always stories about MPs getting subsidised food and wine in the Commons, any meal in Parliament is a bargain compared with them dining out at Birley’s and putting the bill on their taxpayer-paid expenses.

Be seen, not heard

Nobody could accuse Nadine Dorries or Suella Braverman of being posh – not that I imagine either would aspire to the condition.

Posh people are inclined towards putting up and shutting up, certainly in public, which is clearly a stance that neither woman subscribes to. Compare them, for example, with Lady Susan Hussey, who was chucked out of the Royal fold in a nanosecond for unintentionally insulting a guest at a Buckingham Palace charity event.

Did she immediately get a publisher for a tell-all about life as the late Queen’s trusted companion? Did she send a letter of denunciation for unfair treatment?

She did not. And guess what: she’s right back there, folded into the bosom of the family.

Creaking old joints

Making a fuss about noise is another sign of not being posh.

Last week, London businessman Sergey Grazhdankin and his wife Maria won a court case over the ‘unbearable’ racket made by their upstairs neighbours on their creaky floorboards.

Heavens! Posh people always live with creaking floorboards in those big old houses, with usually terrible internet since the walls are too thick for the wi-fi signal.

Alexandra’s Posh List 

• Kate Moss
• Hating your days at Eton (but sending your son there anyway, because it’s all different now)
• Only ever having white towels in the bathroom
• Holidaying in the Outer Hebrides
• Using light switches without dimmers
• Allowing smoking in the house
• Booming voices
• Consulting Ordnance Survey maps
• Jelly
• Buying your child a house in Peckham, South London – apparently Denmark Hill overground whisks you into Victoria in no time at all
• Subaru cars
• Asking for ketchup with your eggs
• Never staying in hotels
• Kenya
• Apologising for everything without being remotely sorry
• Bidets
• Bookshelves stuffed with books
• Pubs – never cocktail bars
• ‘Are we rocking it for Martin’s do?’ – Should I get the jewels out of the bank for the party?
• Stockpiling incandescent lightbulbs
• Claiming not to know what label you are wearing
• Eating everything
• Mick Jagger
• Shepherd’s pie on Meissen china
• Anonymous handbags – sorry Louis Vuitton

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