‘I sank to my knees’ Jeremy Clarkson ‘at a loss’ over devastating restaurant news

Jeremy Clarkson recalls ‘hilarious day’ on the farm

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Jeremy Clarkson, 61, was left heartbroken when his favourite London restaurant suddenly went into administration. He found out that The Wolseley in Mayfair, which is run by Jeremy King, is still open for business for now because the administration was “somehow technical”.

I was at a loss

Jeremy Clarkson

In his column for The Times, The Grand Tour host admitted the news shocked him to the core.

He penned: “‘Noooooo!’ I wailed, while sinking to my knees and throwing my head back in anguish.

“London without the Wolseley would be like Sydney without the opera house or Cindy Crawford without that mole. Pointless.”

He went on to note the reasons that made him fall in love with the restaurant, that serves Modern European food, in the first place.

“There are many reasons I like this restaurant so much. First, there’s always someone in there I know and can ignore,” he began his long list of why he loves the dining sensation.

“Then there’s the temperature, which is always set at a level where it feels as if there’s no temperature at all.

“Then there’s the haddock Monte Carlo.

“And then there’s the fact that I can always get a table at 20 minutes’ notice because I was a friend of AA Gill.”

He went on: “But the main reason I like the Wolseley is the man who runs it. He’s called Jeremy King, and he doesn’t walk round making sure everything is all right.

“He glides. It’s as if he’s wearing hover shoes.

“And if you’ve booked on the same night as an ex, or Piers Morgan, he’ll call to warn you,” Jeremy wrote with a glint in his eye.

“He is the greatest restaurateur in the greatest restaurant in the world.”

But the news left him at a loss as he couldn’t understand what it was that had caused The Wolseley to head on a downward spiral.

“I was at a loss,” he admitted, after revealing the tried to investigate by reading the business pages of the Financial Times.

“I recognised that the words being used were English, but I’d never seen them written down in that order before.

“There was talk of restructuring and of unknown American institutions that seemed to have limitless funds and of private equity, and it all swam around like alphabetti spaghetti in a Zambezi whirlpool.”

So instead of hurting his head anymore, he made his way to London, revealing he hardly ever visits anymore.

He went to see the other Jeremy, who explained what was going on and how he was due in court shortly.

“As he patiently went through the issues, I couldn’t help thinking that asking this gentle man to immerse himself in this weird world of finance was the same as asking Ricky Gervais to do a sword fight with someone from the Unsullied,” the Clarkson’s Farm presenter sighed.

“Because business talk to normal people is like playing Wordle on mushrooms.”

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