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Michelle Heaton has revealed that she was "too ill" to visit her good friend Nikki Grahame shortly before her death in April.
Speaking exclusively to OK!, the 42-year-old singer has said she felt it would have been "irresponsible" to visit Nikki, who died on 9 April following a long battle with anorexia.
At the time, Michelle – who was close with Nikki for more than a decade – was secretly facing her own fight and in late April, checked into The Priory to receive treatment for drug and alcohol addiction.
The Liberty X star is now 90 days sober and in a candid chat with OK!, she addressed her decision not to see Nikki.
Michelle said: “What I now understand, which I didn’t acknowledge then, is that I knew how bad I was, and I knew that she didn’t have long and I knew that she couldn’t drink because it would kill her.
“I knew she wanted to have a glass of champagne with me like old times and I knew I couldn’t not drink, so I didn’t see her.”
The mum-of-two continued: “I knew that I was too ill to see someone who was suffering with an addiction as well.
“That would have been completely irresponsible of me to have gone because I would have drank.
“And seeing Nikki the way she was wouldn’t have been enough for me to not drink because I was an alcoholic," she said.
The nation's hearts broke when Nikki Grahame tragically died at the age of 38 following a battle with anorexia in April.
Michelle paid a tribute to her good friend following the devastating news as she posted a picture of the two of them on the red carpet together on Instagram.
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The stars first became friends when Nikki shot to fame on the seventh series of Big Brother in 2006.
In the months before Nikki's death, her loved ones had set up a GoFundMe page hoping to raise funds to help the star access the care she desperately needed.
Two months after she tragically passed away, the Big Brother star's friends and family shared a tribute which read: "I know we have been quiet on here, but as you can imagine, it’s been a very very hard few months and our hearts have broken.
"Losing our precious Nikki has been the hardest thing we have all had to deal with, but we feel it’s time to let you know what we plan to do going forward," they continued.
"So first of all we just wanted to let you all know we are in the process of setting up the Nikki Grahame Charitable Trust where we will provide information and assist those affected by eating disorders.
"We are creating a hub to enable everyone to easily find information on the care and treatment options available, whilst also running and supporting publicity campaigns to further raise awareness."
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