‘I felt like they were asking me to die’: Ryan Adams says he has lost his life and career after seven women accused him of sexual misconduct in 2019
He pleaded for a ‘second chance’ in a since deleted Instagram post earlier this month.
And now, in his first interview since being accused of sexual misconduct in 2019, Ryan Adams has described himself as ‘lost’ both personally and professionally.
The 46-year-old singer told LA Magazine that after being ‘canceled’ over the allegations published in the NY Times two years ago, ‘I felt like they were asking me to die.’
Singer Ryan Adams told LA Magazine he feels ‘lost’ personally and professionally after being ‘canceled’ over sexual misconduct allegations published in the NY Times in 2019 (pictured in 2015)
In the article published Monday, Adams says he was quickly deserted by friends and fellow musicians, his scheduled tours were canceled and the planned release of a new album stalled.
‘So I’m losing my life’s work, and my dream of who I am, my ability to provide for myself. And I now don’t have the emotional support to help fix this. The door has slammed and what am I going to do?’ he said.
He detailed his mental health struggles, explaining: ‘I couldn’t sleep. Anxiety made me so sick. I couldn’t fix it.
‘I was functional in that I kept my house OK, and my cats were OK. But I was not well.’
‘I’m losing my life’s work, and my dream of who I am, my ability to provide for myself. And I now don’t have the emotional support to help fix this. The door has slammed and what am I going to do?’ he said
Adams told LA Magazine that he faces losing his home, his studio and even contemplated accepting a ‘take it or leave it’ offer to buy the publishing rights to his music.
In February 2019, seven women, including recording artist Phoebe Bridgers and his ex-wife Mandy Moore, accused him of of sexual misconduct.
The women claimed Adams would pursue women in an effort to help their music career, before becoming abusive.
He was also investigated by the FBI for a sexually-explicit online relationship with a minor, though he was cleared of those charges in January.
He released a public apology for his behavior in July 2020.
Seven women, including recording artist Phoebe Bridgers and his ex-wife Mandy Moore (pictured with him in 2010), claimed Adams would pursue women in an effort to help their music career, before becoming abusive
His inner turmoil was laid bare in an Instagram post a week ago which he subsequently removed.
He wrote: ‘I know I’m damaged goods….. I just really want a second chance to make some music — maybe help other people believe you can get up out of the gutter and be something.’
He went on: ‘I’m 46 and scared I’m gonna be living in my sisters basement. If you are a label and interested please let me know.’
The singer said in another deleted post: ‘Please if someone takes a chance on me and this music I’ll bust my a** to support it. Sorry to sound desperate.’
Adams was ultimately dropped from his label Blue Note/Capitol before creating his own label PAX AM, where he released two albums in the past eight months, Wednesdays in December and Big Colors in June.
While both of those albums have reached the charts in countries like Belgium, Germany and the Netherlands, they have not charted in the U.S. or U.K.
A week ago, Adams posted on Instagram: ‘I know I’m damaged goods….. I just really want a second chance to make some music — maybe help other people believe you can get up out of the gutter and be something’ (pictured in 2012)
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