The average cost of a mid-range wedding in 2023 now sits at almost £20,000, with a more luxurious celebration coming in at a whopping £55,000.
However, this dad has taken exception at his son’s far smaller budget, causing a rift among the family in the process.
Posting on Reddit’s Am I The Asshole? forum, where people seek perspectives on contentious issues, the 57-year-old explained that his son, 23, had recently become engaged to a woman named Peggy, 22.
In the man’s culture, it’s commonplace for both sets of parents to share the cost of the wedding, so Peggy’s father suggested a contribution of $10,000 (£7,736) each.
‘I could afford this, sure,’ said the dad. ‘But this seems insane and extravagant to me.’
They eventually agreed on a figure of $5,000 (£3,868) each, yet when they broke the news to the bride and groom-to-be, the poster’s son said it ‘wasn’t going to be enough’.
The son claimed not to mind and said he and Peggy would cover the shortfall, but told his father there was ‘no way would they’d be able to do their wedding on under $10,000’.
In response, his dad argued that his own wedding, ‘after haggling and deals’, came out to around $7,000, so he didn’t see the amount as ‘an issue’ that’d hinder their planning.
The post continued: ‘He argued against me and said that my wedding was 40 years ago and prices were different. He outlined some prices and said the cheapest venue he could find was $5,000, and food alone was going to be $2,500 (£1934).’
Upset ensued, and despite the fact his son reiterated that he didn’t mind and thanked his parents for the gift, the father said: ‘I honestly felt hurt that he thought we were not giving enough.’
When the man expressed shock at the price of the food (which worked out $25 or £19 per person) and suggested ‘ordering pizzas and subs’, things escalated further.
‘I said okay well we can just offer less for the photographer and decorator, and he said that isn’t how things are done,’ he wrote.
‘I said it is how things are done, and maybe if Peggy and him weren’t so spoiled and expecting the best of the best for everything then $10,000 would be plenty.’
Ouch.
Following this, his son once again thanked him and ‘basically told [him] to get out’. The man was incensed at the exchange, and although his friends agreed with his stance, his wife told him he ‘was being a stick in the mud and it’s his only wedding.’
A number of Redditors branded the dad asshole in the situation, with one saying: ‘He thanked you for the money and is planning on paying for the rest. How they spend their money isn’t your business. Can you seriously not envision that prices have increased over several decades?’
‘You calling them spoiled was out of line and you should apologise,’ added another, while a third commented: ‘They are not being spoiled, you are being stingy.’
Some savvy folks even used inflation calculators to highlight that the equivalent amount for the father’s 1980s wedding would leave him with a budget of less than $3,000 (£2,321) today, calling him a hypocrite for expecting his son to serve pizza when he didn’t have to follow the same restrictions.
Others also took objection to his plan on paying vendors less to save money, including one user who said: ‘I’m tired of hearing s*** like “just haggle prices”. This is not a f****** market bazaar. The cost is the cost. Pay it or don’t.’
There were a couple of commenters who disagreed, stating the couple should ‘appreciate the help’ and ‘enjoy the challenge of careful budgeting.’
While there are certainly ways to keep costs down on your big day, one thing money can’t buy is a day free from family drama – a luxury it doesn’t look like this pair can look forward to.
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