Psychologist: This is how I can tell somebody is a narcissist just by how they argue with me
- Narcissists don’t have ‘healthy’ arguments; this how to spot one
- READ MORE: The four types of narcissist
How your partner argues with you and others can indicate whether or not they’re a narcissist, experts say.
According to Your Pocket Therapist, Annie Zimmerman. narcissists are almost incapable of having a ‘healthy’ argument.
‘You can’t reason logically with a narcissist,’ she said.
There are five distinct argument techniques people with narcissistic personality traits will use when having a disagreement with a ‘loved one’.
The first they use is denial, she explained.
How your partner argues with you, and others, can indicate whether or not you are dating a narcissist, according to Your Pocket Therapist, Annie Zimmerman
‘They aren’t able to take ownership for their side and any apology is meaningless or superficial,’ she said.
They are also masters at deflecting.
‘Suddenly you are talking about your flaws when it is you who raised an issue with them,’ she said.
The third thing they do is play the victim; they get upset and making you feel like you are the ‘bad guy’.
They also like to ‘gaslight you into thinking you are the problem for raising the issue’.
The fifth thing they do is become aggressive and go on the attack when they are arguing.
The video took off, with hundreds of people commenting about their own experiences with narcissists who used the same tactics.
Narcissists play the victim, deflect, gaslight and refuse responsibility in arguments before becoming aggressive
‘My entire 33+ years of marriage. Finally getting free,’ one woman said.
‘Nice, both of my parents. Can’t say I’m 100% mentally stable after that, it takes a toll living with in those circumstances,’ said another.
‘Your videos always give me the chills because I have been way to close to real narcissists / psychopaths and it’s like looking Satan in the eyes,’ said a third.
But others slammed the video saying the argument styles could be reflective of other conditions – like bipolar.
‘Rhetoric like that actually facilitated a chunk of my abuse, isolating me and making me feel like a monster. Nobody is born evil,’ one person said.
Some were shocked by the list.
‘Okay so I am just realising I might be a narcissist,’ one woman said.
Argument styles that are signs of narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic #abuseawareness #arguments #relationships
‘This sounds like my husband but I think he’s just emotionally immature,’ said another.
‘I feel like I’m the narcissist, I do all of these, but I don’t see myself as a bad person,’ added another.
Others seemed puzzled by the information and asked what ‘healthy’ arguments are supposed to look like.
They were quickly informed that people typically listen to each other, work to come up with a solution and accept their part in the problem.
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