Being a stay-at-home parent is a tough job for anyone – let alone while pregnant.
This woman’s husband seems to have missed the memo, however, and his lack of empathy is causing conflict in his marriage.
Posting to Reddit, the mum-of-three who’s currently pregnant with a fourth baby explained she left work to take care of the couple’s children, while their father works eight-hour shifts five days a week.
‘My husband thinks that because I don’t work outside the house it’s my responsibility to take care of all duties related to the house and kids,’ she said, adding that this includes cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and everything related to the children’s school and extracurricular activities.
The woman’s post read: ‘On top of everything I do, he also expects me to make all of his meals – breakfast lunch and dinner.
‘I am so tired recently from entertaining the kids all day during summer vacation and I’ve been having a hard time with my pregnancy.
‘He told me “life’s tough, this is your job” and has no sympathy for me. In fact, he thinks I have it easy because I “don’t work”.’
Due to the stress she’s under and the lack of support she feels, the mum decided not to make her husband dinner for the last two nights, causing him to treat her like ‘a useless, horrible wife’ in response.
‘Why can’t he stop at the store after work and pick himself something up? Or look at what we have in the fridge and make something?’ her post continued.
‘When he’s hungry, he’ll constantly say “I’m starving, I’m so hungry etc” being passive aggressive to let me know he wants me to make him something.’
The woman said she felt ‘completely undervalued and unappreciated,’ in the home, but was worried she was in the wrong for putting her foot down and ‘refusing to wait on him hand and foot’.
Redditors largely supported her, though, with one saying: ‘I’m not even married to your husband and I want to divorce him. What a jerk.’
‘I’m sorry you’re dealing with such an insufferable man who truly has no concept of how much [unpaid] work goes into all you take care of,’ said another.
‘Ask him to give you one weekend where he handles everything that he expects of you – full stop. Let him see how hard it is.
‘This guy sorely needs a lesson in gratitude and showing appreciation.’
Some suggested she go on ‘strike’ and refuse to do anything to help her husband to teach him a lesson, while a few went one step further and advised the woman to leave him altogether.
There were a couple of commenters who agreed with her husband, though, including one who said: ‘You make dinner for the children and yourself. I would be furious if you didn’t cook for me too.’
‘He is working outside the home. You no longer have work outside the home. The home is now your work. Deal with it,’ wrote another, while a third added: ‘I agree with him. SAHMs are responsible for cooking, cleaning, and childcare.’
The debate over whether it’s better for one parent (usually the mother) to provide full-time childcare has raged on for years, and 33% of Brits still believe women should give up work for a baby’s first years.
Unrealistic beliefs that stay-at-home mothers ‘rest while children nap’, cook dinner ‘from scratch’ and are ‘intimate with husband frequently’ also remain, despite the fact it’s a tiring job that takes constant awareness for vast majority of your time.
For some, this isn’t an option anyway due to the rising cost of childcare, and there are pros and cons to both lifestyles that every family must grapple with.
Yet hopefully they don’t also have to deal with a grown man expecting round-the-clock service…
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