DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been taking huge risks with my new neighbour by having sex with her in the potting shed.
I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it a secret.
I’m a married man of 47, my wife is 45. Our relationship has never been great.
We got married quickly when she got pregnant with our son, who’s now 25. I doubt we would have chosen one another otherwise.
As Christians, when my wife became pregnant, our parents would have felt ashamed that we’d had sex before marriage.
So we quickly arranged a wedding and were married six weeks later. We also have a daughter who’s 19.
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We have different interests and don’t spend a lot of time together. Covid put extra strain on our relationship.
So I was delighted when I saw our new neighbour. She’s 37, divorced and really turned my head.
We share an interest in gardening and one day she asked if I wanted some tomato plants she had spare. She looked stunning in a low-cut top and skimpy shorts.
I followed her over to her garden shed and it was all I could do to keep my eyes on the plants.
A couple of weeks later, she invited me again, this time for some sweet peas.
When she made a pass at me, and I pulled her in and started kissing her passionately. We had intense sex — unlike anything I’ve experienced with my wife.
I’ve just had a week off work and my wife has gone back to her office, so I was free to go to my neighbour's twice a day to “check her seedlings”. It’s been wild.
She’s caring and loving, and when we are together I can’t stop smiling.
DEIDRE SAYS: You know so very little about this woman.
Maybe you feel you missed out on sexual fun as a teenager, but are you prepared to throw away family life for this? It’s a huge price to pay.
Tell your neighbour that you are not prepared to ruin your marriage.
Explain to your wife you need some outside help to make things work. Arrange couple counselling through Relate (relate.org.uk, 0300 0030 3096).
Finding a hobby you can enjoy with your wife, to help improve your bond.
My support pack Love Or Lust could help you to put this fling with your neighbour in perspective.
Once you can honestly say you have tried to make your marriage work, if you are still unhappy then your counsellor will help you deal with the difficult process of leaving.
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