My husband always accuses me of cheating – yet he was the one who had an affair

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has always been suspicious that I’m cheating, yet he was the one who had an affair.

My son thinks he’s abusive and I shouldn’t put up with it.

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He drinks every day but if I buy a new top he says: “Who did you buy that for?”

I only ever have a night out if my daughter invites me but he still accuses me of all sorts when I get home.

He even told my son that he thinks I’m having an affair because I’ve been helping a friend who lost her mother recently.

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He had a brief affair with a work colleague years ago yet I forgave him.

I did nothing but he’s always accusing me. We are both 55.

DEIDRE SAYS: Accusing you of cheating deflects the attention away from himself and the guilt about his own infidelity. It is emotional abuse.

Tell him that you’re unhappy and you can’t go on with this air of mistrust.

You’ve forgiven him for his infidelity so he has to stop accusing you.

If things don’t improve, seek help through Tavistock Relationships which provides counselling online (, 020 7380 1960).

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