My wife doesn't want to have sex with me – how can I improve her libido?

DEAR DEIDRE: I MARRIED my wife knowing she had a low sex drive.

But I really thought I would be able to ignite her interest and improve her libido.

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However, four years on there is no improvement.

She is really pretty and kind. I do love her and I know she adores me but I’m not happy with zero sex at all.

She isn’t even keen on kissing and cuddling.

I’ve spoken to her several times about it but she always states that I knew what I was getting into so it’s not fair to make sexual demands now.

I am 34 and she is 31.

DEIDRE SAYS: Sex is not everything in a relationship but it does make the difference between a friendship and a marital relationship.

Perhaps your wife had an emotionally cold upbringing, which has made intimacy feel unnatural to her, or maybe something in her past has put her off.

Read my support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, to help you to communicate better with each other.

If you can’t sort this out, I would suggest couples counselling to save your marriage.

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