Read single woman's horrific text from a 'charming' date

Read the horrific text a young single woman received from her cruel date the next day: ‘He appeared charming and ticked all the boxes’

  • A single woman went on a date with a man from a dating app
  • At first he seemed ‘lovely’ and ‘ticked all the boxes’
  • But the next morning she received a degrading text

A single woman was lost for words after being called ‘obese’ and told to ‘lose weight’ by a date she initially thought was ‘charming’.

The Melbourne woman matched with a man on a dating app who ‘seemed lovely’ and ‘ticked all the boxes’, so the two met in person. 

The date went well and the pair spent ‘hours talking’, but the woman rejected going back to his place afterwards for a ‘coffee’. 

‘Admittedly, I was tempted but ultimately decided to refrain. He claimed to be 100 per cent ok with this and asked me when we could next see each other. I went home thinking it was one of the best dates I had ever been on!’ the woman said. 

However the following morning the woman received a degrading text from the man who commented on her weight and said she could ‘redeem herself’ if she started working out with a personal trainer six days a week and followed a ‘strict diet’. 

The Melbourne woman matched with the man on a dating app who ‘seemed lovely’ and ‘ticked all the boxes’. But the following morning after the date she receiving a degrading text message (stock image) 

The woman shared the text with the ‘Bad Dates of Melbourne’ Facebook page

Sharing the text with the ‘Bad Dates of Melbourne’ Facebook page, the message read: ‘Hey. I think you’re lovely and I could definitely see you in my future. However, to get there I feel I need to address something. 

‘While you have a beautiful face, you are physically way bigger than any girl I would let myself date. I wold even go as far as saying obese. 

‘The only reason you are getting a second chance is because your personality is good enough to make me see past this at first.’

The man listed his suggestions and said he expects ‘immediate action for you to redeem yourself’ to be seen with him a second time. 

‘You will not be seen with me in public again until this is done! My suggestion is PT 5 – 6 times weekly and a strict diet,’ the message read. 

He also called her out on the fact that she didn’t go home with him that night.  

‘You need to abandon your old fashioned views on sexuality. The fact you wouldn’t let me enjoy you physically last night was disappointing – and I’d expect more from a woman who is single in her late 20s,’ he wrote. 

‘I sincerely hope you take these suggestions to heart. If not for my sake then the sale of your own wellbeing. This could be the start of the rest of our lives together.’

Warning signs of a narcissist: Are you dating someone with NPD?

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. 

They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.


Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how severe they are can vary. People with the disorder can: 

Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration. 

Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment. 

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements. 

Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are. 

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate. 

Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people. 

Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important. 

Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them. 

Take advantage of others to get what they want. 

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others. 

Be envious of others and believe others envy them. 

Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited. 

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.

Source: Mayo Clinic 

Following this, a second date wasn’t arranged and the woman was left second guessing herself about her looks. 

‘He likes to check in every now and then with an unsolicited message. I have managed to go on dates since then but not without experiencing anxiety at the thought of receiving this kind of “feedback” again,’ she wrote. 

Hundreds of women flooded the comments and offered kind words of support towards the single woman, with many claiming the man is a ‘walking red flag’. 

‘Literally read this with my mouth wide open. The AUDACITY!’ one woman wrote. 

‘This has got to be the WORST date I’ve ever heard about. The guy has so many red flags, he’s basically wrapped in a giant red tarp,’ another said. 

‘This is why Tinder needs a Trip Advisor-style rating system. I’m so sorry,’ a third added. 

Another said: ‘My mind just can’t understand why on earth some people think they’re above others. If you don’t like someone, that’s fine.. not everyone likes everyone, but pretending you do and then have the audacity to send that? 

I am so sorry this happened to you, I’m sure you are glad he showed his true colours early but understand how hard it must have been.’

The admin behind the Facebook page also wrote:  ‘Consider how controlling and strategic this message is. I reckon it’s been sent a number of times before. It has nothing to do with our wonderful OP (original poster). Into the bin with these low self-esteem “dating strategies”. Vom.’ 

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