Saturday Night Live season premiere: Dog The Bounty Hunter pops up to ask ‘where is Brian Laundrie’ during chaotic ‘Robert E. Lee Was Bad School’ PTA meeting that mocks parents raging against CRT
On the new season premiere of Saturday Night Live a school PTA meeting about COVID-19 policies was shown going comically off the rails.
Pete Davidson played Dog The Bounty Hunter who took the lectern to ask after the whereabouts of Brian Laundrie, the missing fiance of homicide victim Gabby Petito.
The sketch also took aim at parents raging against critical race theory, with Heidi Gardner playing a blonde mother who quivered with fury as she demanded to know: ‘What is it and why am I mad about it?’
Chaos: On the new season premiere of Saturday Night Live a school PTA meeting about COVID-19 policies was shown going comically off the rails
In the sketch the meeting took place at what used to be called Robert E. Lee Middle School but has now been rechristened Robert E. Lee Was Bad.
Dog The Bounty Hunter arrived at the lectern and declared: ‘As you know I’ve joined the hunt for Brian Laundrie. So my question to you is, do you know where he is? ‘Cause I can’t find this dude anywhere.’
When the administrators told him they had no clue he said: ‘I got no leads on this guy. Either he’s good or I’m bad.’
Heidi’s concerned mother took the floor and said: ‘Hi, I’m so mad I’m literally shaking right now. Forget COVID. The real threat is critical race theory being taught in our schools. My question is – what is it and why am I mad about it?’
Cigarette in hand: Pete Davidson played Dog The Bounty Hunter who took the lectern to ask after the whereabouts of Brian Laundrie, the missing fiance of homicide victim Gabby Petito
Not having it: The sketch also took aim at parents raging against critical race theory, with Heidi Gardner playing a blonde mother who quivered with fury
Bringing the meeting to order: In the sketch the meeting took place at what used to be called Robert E. Lee Middle School but has now been rechristened Robert E. Lee Was Bad
‘Forget COVID’: Heidi’s concerned mother took the floor and said: ‘Hi, I’m so mad I’m literally shaking right now’
One woman launched into an incoherent rant about Dr. Anthony Fauci that concluded: ‘This, all of this, this is about Israel!’
As it turned not not only did she not have a child at the school, she was not a mother at all and nor did she even live in the district.
Punkie Johnson played the harried mother of a teenage boy and declared that ‘my son can’t play football because they said the vaccine he got wasn’t valid.’
When Ego Nwodim, playing one of the administrators running the meeting, asked which jab Chris got Punkie replied: ‘Mike’s Hard Vaccine.’
Out of towner: One woman launched into an incoherent rant about Dr. Anthony Fauci that concluded: ‘This, all of this, this is about Israel!’
Trouble: Punkie Johnson played the harried mother of a teenage boy and shared that ‘my son can’t play football because they said the vaccine he got wasn’t valid’
Fleeced: When Ego Nwodim, playing one of the administrators running the meeting, asked which jab Chris got Punkie replied: ‘Mike’s Hard Vaccine’
A flustered Punkie was then confronted with a frustrated teenage son who informed her that they had been scammed.
Mikey Day meanwhile arrived as a shifty school father saying he took ‘Iverpitekatraz,’ ‘a hormone given to elephants in captivity to boost sperm production.’
He assures the board that ‘my son took it and had no adverse effects,’ only for his child to be seen with a full beard.
Meanwhile the host Owen Wilson turned up as a mild-mannered earth science teacher who was concerned about having to separate his students racially.
Spoof: Mikey Day meanwhile arrived as a shifty school father saying he took ‘Iverpitekatraz,’ ‘a hormone given to elephants in captivity to boost sperm production’
Whoops: He assures the board that ‘my son took it and had no adverse effects,’ only for his child to be seen with a full beard
Whoops: Meanwhile the host Owen Wilson turned up as a mild-mannered earth science teacher who was concerned about having to separate his students
When he was informed that this was not part of the COVID-19 protocols, he produced the memo and realized his mistake.
It turned out he had misread ‘separate by six feet’ as ‘segregate by six feet,’ to which Ego exasperatedly remarked that they were risking a lawsuit.
As the sketch wore on Owen returned as the science teacher, who had informed his students that the racial segregation was a ‘misunderstanding’ only for the children to say ‘they actually wanna keep it. Is that okay? No, right?’
Owen Wilson turned on the charm as he delivered a self-deprecating monologue poking fun at his own bad reviews and troublemaking childhood.
Mishap: It turned out he had misread ‘separate by six feet’ as ‘segregate by six feet,’ to which Ego exasperatedly remarked that they were risking a lawsuit
Looking good: Owen Wilson turned on the charm as he delivered a self-deprecating monologue poking fun at his own bad reviews and troublemaking childhood
‘My dad always said he was the charter member of the 3790 club – three sons, seven high schools, nine colleges, zero degrees,’ he recalled.
‘Which was actually pretty generous of my dad to put it like that because my brothers only went to one high school and college each.’
Both of Owen’s brothers – Luke and Andrew Wilson – were in fact sitting in the audience and he pointed them out, garnering them a round of applause.
He also gamely looked back at some of the nastier notices he has gotten over the course of his career including one bon mot that went: ‘Owen Wilson’s onscreen persona has all the ambition of an old golden retriever laying next to a fire.’
Remember when: ‘My dad always said he was the charter member of the 3790 club – three sons, seven high schools, nine colleges, zero degrees,’ he recalled
Game: ‘Which was actually pretty generous of my dad to put it like that because my brothers only went to one high school and college each’
Family support: Both of Owen’s brothers – Luke and Andrew Wilson – were in fact sitting in the audience and he pointed them out, garnering them a round of applause
Owen acknowledged that ‘I probably have been guilty at times of coasting a little, taking my foot off the pedal but I’ll tell you what, when Daniel Day-Lewis retired and all that pressure landed on my shoulders, everything changed.’
He took the joke further, adding: ‘And that’s when I knew I had to do Cars 3 and really that’s what tonight’s about.’
The Wedding Crashers star quipped: ‘Is it the worst thing in the world being a golden retriever laying next to a fire? I mean I know everyone comes out here and says: “It’s gonna be a great show!” Is it? I don’t know! I mean I’m betting on it of course. I’ve been betting on a lot of things lately. I’ve got a little bit of a gambling problem.’
He suggested to the crowd that they ‘put on your coziest flannel and maybe we just chill out for the next 90 minutes. Close your eyes, get comfy.’
He remembers: He also gamely looked back at some of the nastier notices he has gotten over the course of his career
‘Close your eyes, get comfy’: He suggested to the crowd that they ‘put on your coziest flannel and maybe we just chill out for the next 90 minutes
Owen joked that he was told not to tell the audience to snooze through the program ‘But also I’m not gonna stand here and tell people not to dream and in my America most people dream better with their eyes closed! Now come on, who’s with me? We have a great show for you tonight!’
The opening monologue was followed by a spoof of a recent episode of The View where hostesses Sunny Hostin and Ana Navarro had to leave the set mid-episode after being diagnosed with COVID-19 – in what were later found to be false positives.
Cecily Strong, Ego Nwodim, Heidi Gardner and Aidy Bryant played the hostesses of a show called The Talking with Owen as the on-set doctor.
As the women tried to get through their topical segments – with Aidy constantly reminding the rest of how ‘well-endowed’ her husband is – Owen kept popping up.
Goofing around: Owen joked that he was told not to tell the audience to snooze through the program ‘But also I’m not gonna stand here and tell people not to dream’
Misadventure: The opening monologue was followed by a spoof of a recent episode of The View where two hostesses had to leave mid-episode over false positive COVID-19 tests
Who’s who: Cecily Strong, Ego Nwodim, Heidi Gardner and Aidy Bryant played the hostesses of a show called The Talking with Owen as the on-set doctor
Intrusion: As the women tried to get through their topical segments – with Aidy constantly reminding the rest of how ‘well-endowed’ her husband is – Owen kept popping up
First he informed Heidi that she had COVID-19, saying: ‘Yeah it has to be on TV for Hippo reasons – we either can’t tell anybody or have to tell everybody.’
Ego assured the audience that Heidi had gotten ‘a breakthrough case. It happens. Obviously we’ve all been vaccinated dozens, dozens, dozens of times.’
Owen came back for Aidy, asking for her ‘number of sexual partners’ and responding to her answer: ‘Oh! Just one!’ by saying: ‘Okay that’s not what I have here.’
In an effort to be ‘discreet’ he told Aidy she had COVID-19 not by saying it aloud on TV but by placing a hand on her head.
The oath: First he informed Heidi that she had COVID-19, saying: ‘Yeah it has to be on TV for Hippo reasons – we either can’t tell anybody or have to tell everybody’
‘It happens’: Ego assured the audience that Heidi had gotten ‘a breakthrough case’ as: ‘Obviously we’ve all been vaccinated dozens, dozens, dozens of times’
Dear oh dear: Owen came back for Aidy, asking for her ‘number of sexual partners’ and responding to her answer: ‘Oh! Just one!’ by saying: ‘Okay that’s not what I have here’
Dignified: In an effort to be ‘discreet’ he told Aidy she had COVID-19 not by saying it aloud on TV but by placing a hand on her head
Later on he suddenly dragged Cecily from the stage and when she asked: ‘I’ve got COVID?’ he said: ‘No, you have HPV!’
Art imitated life and Ego, the last woman standing, eventually shared the ‘good news’ that ‘they were false positives – not the HPV though. See you next time!’
Having ribbed himself for starring in Cars 3 Owen then played himself in a sketch where he acted in the sequel Cars 4.
Unfortunately the script was incomplete and Owen found himself reading dialogue that he found increasingly alarming.
Off she goes: Later on he suddenly dragged Cecily from the stage and when she asked: ‘I’ve got COVID?’ he said: ‘No, you have HPV!’
‘See you next time!’: Art imitated life and Ego, the last woman standing, eventually shared the ‘good news’ that ‘they were false positives – not the HPV though
‘Back off jackass! I wasn’t looking at your wife!’ was one of the lines he had to say as well as: ‘Calm down jerkoff, I didn’t touch your daughter! She was coming onto me!’
Others were: ‘Grow up, man! Your sister sure did!’ and ‘So what college do you girls go to? Oh, you’re in high school? Coulda fooled me!’
Owen became concerned his character Lightning McQueen was being portrayed negatively – and even more so when his sidekick Mater got involved.
Mater had the line: ‘That’s why I was so upset when I heard you was calling me an r-word!’ much to Owen’s concern.
What if: Having ribbed himself for starring in Cars 3 Owen then played himself in a sketch where he acted in the sequel Cars 4
‘I didn’t touch your daughter!’: Unfortunately the script was incomplete and Owen found himself reading dialogue that he found increasingly alarming
Much to his distress: Others were: ‘Grow up, man! Your sister sure did!’ and ‘So what college do you girls go to? Oh, you’re in high school? Coulda fooled me!’
The executives assured him the ‘r-word’ was ‘rusty’ but as Owen read down the script he found that this was decidedly not the case.
He refused to use the term and was informed by the brass: ‘If you’re not gonna say it then skip the next 10 lines and go to the top of 15.’
After hitting a plotline where Lightning McQueen sleeps with Mater’s sister Owen was just about ready to walk – but was persuaded otherwise.
The studio were able to pay Owen enough to stay on the project as: ‘Disney had a very good year’ – in a sly touch as one of Saturday Night Live’s head writers is Colin Jost whose wife Scarlett Johansson recently settled a high-profile lawsuit with Disney about a financial dispute.
Not having a good time: Owen became concerned his character Lightning McQueen was being portrayed negatively – and even more so when his sidekick Mater got involved
Side by side; Mater had the line: ‘That’s why I was so upset when I heard you was calling me an r-word!’ much to Owen’s concern
Concessions: He refused to use the term and was informed by the brass: ‘If you’re not gonna say it then skip the next 10 lines and go to the top of 15’
Audiences were also treated to more than one musical performance by Kacey Musgraves who delivered selections from her new album Star-Crossed.
She dropped the record in the wake of her divorce from fellow singer-songwriter Ruston Kelly and the songs were inspired by their failed marriage.
As the show wore on Owen acted in a sketch where he played one of a hapless trio of sportscasters.
In between discussing sports they found themselves having to repeatedly plug a reality show called Crazy House about influencers living together.
Superstar: Audiences were also treated to more than one musical performance by Kacey Musgraves who delivered selections from her new album Star-Crossed
Don’t look back in anger: She dropped the record in the wake of her divorce from fellow singer-songwriter Ruston Kelly and the songs were inspired by their failed marriage
Owen’s character is progressively bewildered by some of the modern woke political twists that have been applied to the reality show.
Late in the show is an ad for stool sample collectors who are so enthusiastic that Owen – a potential patient – is nervous of their intentions.
He finds them so rambunctious and cheerful that he is concerned that they might ‘play with’ his stools instead of using them appropriately.
His misgivings set off their tempers and the next take of their ad sees them raging at the camera about people thinking they are incapable of doing their jobs.
On the earpiece: As the show wore on Owen acted in a sketch where he played one of a hapless trio of sportscasters
A word from the sponsors: In between discussing sports they found themselves having to repeatedly plug a reality show called Crazy House about influencers living together
Pitching their services: Late in the show is an ad for stool sample collectors who are so enthusiastic that Owen – a potential patient – is nervous of their intentions
During the Weekend Update portion of the show, hosted by Colin Jost and Michael Che, Pete Davidson appeared as himself.
Having recently attended the Met Gala in an eye-catching dress by Thom Browne, he cheerfully made fun of his own look.
‘I look like James Bond as his quinceanera. I look like if one of the three blind mice sold fentanyl,’ he vamped.
‘But the truth is I already wear a dress – or paint my nails sometimes – just because I love making my uncles uncomfortable,’ he added.
Dashing duo: During the Weekend Update portion of the show, hosted by Colin Jost and Michael Che, Pete Davidson appeared as himself
Roasting himself: Having recently attended the Met Gala in an eye-catching dress by Thom Browne, he cheerfully made fun of his own look
‘I look like James Bond as his quinceanera’: ‘I look like if one of the three blind mice sold fentanyl,’ he vamped
One uncle told him: ‘Hey I don’t get it but whatever makes me happy. You’re still welcome in my house. I’ll just put the seat down when you’re over.’
Pete cracked: ‘Meanwhile he grew up in the 80s which is somehow the gayest and the most homophobic generation of all time.’
Colin and Michael also led an in memoriam tribute to their legendary predecessor Norm McDonald who died at 61 last month after a secret cancer battle.
Chitchat: ‘But the truth is I already wear a dress – or paint my nails sometimes – just because I love making my uncles uncomfortable,’ he added
Throwback: Pete cracked: ‘Meanwhile he grew up in the 80s which is somehow the gayest and the most homophobic generation of all time’
Flashbacks: Colin and Michael also led an in memoriam tribute to their legendary predecessor Norm McDonald who died at 61 last month after a secret cancer battle
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