Pregnant woman is urged to leave her husband of 7 years after he flew into a drunken rage and smashed the TV after a night out – and is told he’ll ‘turn on her next’ even though he’s ‘never been violent before’
- Pregnant Mumsnet user said her husband had smashed the TV while drunk
- Said he has never done anything like that before but she had been terrified
- Commenters were quick to express that they thought the woman was in danger
- Others said if she wanted to stay, he must take full responsibility for his actions
A pregnant woman was urged to leave her husband after he flew into a drunken rage, smashing a glass and breaking the television.
The British woman took to parenting forum Mumsnet to explain how her husband, who she has been with for seven years, returned home from a night out with friends extremely intoxicated and fell asleep, then woke shortly afterwards in a violent temper.
‘There was a glass in the sink which he tried to wash up. I told him to leave it and I’d do it, he should go back to bed,’ she wrote. ‘He launched the glass as hard as possible at the kitchen surface and it went everywhere. A piece narrowly missed my eye. He was so angry, seemingly for no reason.
‘He then pulled a picture off the wall in the spare bedroom and used it to smash up the TV. I was begging him to stop; there was glass everywhere again. The dog was so scared. So was I.’
The British woman took to parenting forum Mumsnet to explain how her husband, who she has been with for seven years, returned home from a night out with friends extremely intoxicated and fell asleep, then woke shortly afterwards in a violent temper. Stock image
The shaken woman asked for advice on what to do, saying she was ‘confused, hurt and angry’
She added: ‘I’m in shock. This isn’t like him at all, he’s not a violent person.’
Fellow Mumsnet users urged her to leave the relationship, saying it could be the start of domestic violence.
One posted: ‘Has he ever smashed things before? This can’t be the first occurance as it’s quite an escalation from nothing to smashing the TV?
‘How long have you been together? Honestly, I’d leave, I have had this and stayed thinking he’d get better, he didn’t.’
Another remarked on the fact that Violet was ‘newly pregnant’, and wrote: ‘And there it is. You’re pregnant. You know that most domestic violence starts during the victim’s pregnancy don’t you?’
Fellow Mumsnet users urged her to leave the relationship, saying it could be the start of domestic violence. Some pointed out domestic violence often starts during pregnancy
‘Over a third of domestic violence starts or gets worse when a woman is pregnant. 15% of women report violence during their pregnancy. 40%-60% of women experiencing domestic violence are abused while pregnant.’
A third noted that previously being a loving man doesn’t make this behaviour acceptable: ‘He IS a violent person. He’s been violent. Does he have a drink problem?
‘If you aren’t prepared to call the police or leave him immediately then you must look very carefully at his response when he wakes and sees what he has done. If he is appalled and commits to never drink excessive again including getting professional help then there may be less risk of this happening again. But if he minimises or blames then it’s over.’
A handful of people said they wouldn’t leave the relationship over a single incident, but said he had to be willing to accept responsibility, sign up to counselling and agree never to drink again.
Others understood her desire to potentially stay but said he needed to take complete responsibility for what he has done and must commit to never drinking again
Some people questioned whether he had taken drugs or been spiked but the concerned wife spoke to one of his friends who said he had taken multiple shots but no drugs, and they hadn’t been to a club.
Another commenter wrote: ‘As it’s so out of character I would want to know the cause.’
‘If it was my DH I would be really worried for him as well as me. Don’t clear up, take pictures. But make sure he is ok, did he hit his head or get spiked? If not he may need to never drink again and get counselling. If he is unwilling to understand how serious this is then go to your mum’s with the dog. Tell her anyway. He can’t change what has happened but he can change how he reacts to it. Remember you and your baby’s safety is more important that anything else.’
The woman later revealed she had left her husband at home and was torn over what to do.
Some people questioned whether he had taken drugs or been spiked but the concerned wife spoke to one of his friends who said he had taken multiple shots but no drugs, and they hadn’t been to a club
She wrote: ‘Thank you for your help. If I had a friend in the same situation, I know I’d tell her to leave. It’s just hard applying that to yourself. Especially when it’s a one off.
‘But [a previous poster] is right, if he did this with a baby in the house I would run and not look back.’
She added: ‘He called me. He was really apologetic and embarrassed. Says he can’t remember a thing, total blackout.
‘He says he had no idea why the TV was broken until I told him what happened. He did seem genuinely shocked and remorseful.
‘But still, I think need some time to myself, so I have asked him to leave for a few days and he’s agreed. He’s also said he’ll never drink again.’
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