DEAR DEIDRE: FOR the 33 years we have been together, I have been faithful to my husband.
But now I am desperate for a lover as he doesn’t turn me on any more.
I am 61, he is 65 and we have three grown-up children.
We have had a happy marriage but I don’t think I am in love with my husband, although I do love him very much.
We had a good sex life but, since he was diagnosed with terminal cancer just over a year ago, he has lost all interest.
When we do have sex, it’s over in the blink of an eye.
Leaving him is not an option but I do wish we could have exciting sex.
I dream of having a lover and doing all the things my husband and I used to enjoy. I feel so frustrated.
I know it might be a shocking thing to say, but if it wasn’t for the lockdown restrictions, I think I would have already cheated.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s understandable you feel your life has been turned upside down – but cheating is not the answer.
Your husband has lost his confidence as a man and won’t be feeling attractive.
Talk to him about different ways you can still be intimate without intercourse.
He doesn’t have to feel sexual desire to be affectionate.
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Suggest you share a massage to enjoy closeness again.
My support pack Couples Massage explains how.
Talk to MacMillan Cancer Support (macmillan.org.uk, 0808 808 0000).
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