Paul Scholes reveals he feared his non-verbal autistic son, 16, would have to go into care after some ‘terrible times’ as he opens up in Paddy McGuinness BBC documentary
- Paul Scholes speaks to Paddy McGuinness in his new BBC documentary
- Scholes’ autistic son Aiden, 16, is non-verbal and has complex needs
- Spoke of ‘terrible times’ and said he feared he would have to place his son in care
- But football star said Aiden is now a ‘happy boy’ who is doing ‘amazingly’
Football star Paul Scholes has admitted he struggled to come to terms with his son’s autism diagnosis and at one point fear he would have to go into care.
Aiden, 16, is non-verbal and has complex needs that have led to some ‘terrible, terrible times’, the former England and Manchester United ace said.
Speaking to Paddy McGuinness, whose three children are all autistic, Scholes, 47, said: ‘For those first few years from being diagnosed, I kept thinking he’s just delayed, eventually he’ll start talking.
‘It’s never going to happen. He’s never going to be neurotypical. But he’s great. You have to accept it.’
Football star Paul Scholes has admitted he struggled to come to terms with his son’s autism diagnosis and at one point fear he would have to go into care. Pictured, Scholes with his children, Arron (right), Alicia and Aiden at Old Trafford in August 2011
Aiden, 16, pictured, is non-verbal and has complex needs that have led to some ‘terrible, terrible times’, the former England and Manchester United ace said.
Paddy McGuinness, 48, interviewed Scholes for his documentary Paddy and Christine McGuinness: Our Family and Autism, which airs tonight on BBC1, pictured
McGuinness, 48, interviewed Scholes for his documentary Paddy and Christine McGuinness: Our Family and Autism, which airs tonight on BBC1.
Paul, who also shares children Arron, 21, and Alicia, 20, with wife Claire, explained he initially kept his son’s diagnosis private, even from the team and coaching staff at Manchester United.
‘When we got the diagnosis, we [Manchester United] were playing Derby away. I was shocking,’ he recalled.
I didn’t want to be there. My head was gone, I was worrying about autism, reading about autism, trying to find out everything I could. I was terrible.
‘I remember playing on the Wednesday night and we got to the next game on Saturday and the manager pulled me in and says “I’m leaving you out today. How do you think you did the other night?” And I said, “I wasn’t very good.” I never told them, I never told anyone.’
Scholes, who has shunned the celebrity lifestyle enjoyed by other footballers, made Aiden’s diagnosis public in his 2011 memoir, Scholes: My Story.
Paul explained he initially kept his son’s diagnosis private, even from the team and coaching staff at Manchester United. Above, giving Aiden a hug in a video shared on Instagram
He told Paddy of some of the difficulties they had encountered as a result of the condition.
‘You’re trying to cut his hair, I’ve had him in a headlock. It’s disgusting. He’s biting your arm. You couldn’t wear a t-shirt because me and Claire, we were full of scratches all the way up [our arms].
‘And you don’t know what’s causing it, you have no ideas. You learn to start seeing the signals, I suppose, then you stop it at the source before it happens.’
He continued: ‘He used to come home and he used to go ballistic every single day. We just used to let him outside and watch him because the garden is closed off. He’s going ballistic, he’s punching, he’s kicking he’s screaming.
Scholes told Paddy of some of the difficulties they had encountered as a result of the condition. Pictured, Aiden in a photo shared on Scholes’ Instagram account
Proud father-of-three Scholes on a walk with his daughter Alicia and son Aiden, pictured
‘And – I’ve never said this before – I’m looking at him thinking, “he might have to go into care”. I just don’t know, how do you handle that.’
However Scholes said Aiden has reached milestones, like being more experimental with food.
He added: ‘We had some terrible, terrible times with him. But as he is now, he’s amazing, he’s a happy boy. There will be times but… People look at you in a totally different way but you’ve just got to think, “f*** them, I don’t care what they think”.’
Following their conversation, Paddy said: ‘The biggest thing that he said that really resonated, is about not caring what people think. I don’t care what people think either but obviously I do, because I get het up.
Paddy, 48, and wife Christine, 33, live in Cheshire with their three children, eight-year-old twins Leo and Penelope, and five-year-old Felicity, who have all been diagnosed with autism
Speaking in a new BBC documentary, the father-of-three admits he initially struggled with the diagnosis and Christine tells how he threw himself into work and tried to cope with the news by earning money to support the family. He becomes emotional as he discusses the condition
‘If anybody mentioned the word autism to me I would say “I don’t want to speak about it, I don’t want to think about it”. Now I’m finally talking about autism, I just wish I hadn’t spent so much time trapped by the fear of it all.’
Paddy, 48, and wife Christine, 33, live in Cheshire with their three children, eight-year-old twins Leo and Penelope, and five-year-old Felicity, who have all been diagnosed with autism.
Speaking in a new BBC documentary, the father-of-three admits he initially struggled with the diagnosis and Christine tells how he threw himself into work and tried to cope with the news by earning money to support the family.
During the course of filming, Christine learns she also has autism. Paddy goes on a journey to better understand the neurological condition and how it might affect his children’s lives.
During the course of filming, Christine, pictured with one of her daughters, learns she also has autism. Paddy goes on a journey to better understand the neurological condition
One of Paddy’s major concerns is that he fears his children’s struggle to interpret and understand emotions might mean they don’t know how much he loves them.
‘One of my biggest worries is bullying and kids seeing something they don’t recognise as “normal” behaviour,’ he says, on a visit to a secondary school. ‘But you forget how resilient kids are.’
One of his major concerns is that he fears his children’s struggle to interpret and understand emotions might mean they don’t know how much he loves them.
‘What gets to me with them all, and it’s only how I think, I think, “God will they ever know how loved they are. Do they understand what love is?”
‘When I’m in with Leo every night in bed I will always say to him, “who loves you more than anything in the world?” and he’ll say, “you do”, and I’ll go, “who’s your best friend?” and he’ll go, “you are”, and I’ll go, “Do you love Daddy?” and he’ll go, “yeah”. But I think to myself, is he just saying that, or does he know that?’
On seeing her husband becoming emotional, Christine says: ‘Of course he knows you love him. You’ve said it for years about the love thing and it’s something…
‘Patrick has worried the children might not feel love or don’t understand and I’ve always said they do. They struggle to show it, or they struggle to appreciate it sometimes everything you do for them because they’re autistic.’
The TV presenter, who has three autistic children (Leo, Penelope and Felicity) said in some areas of the UK receiving a diagnosis can take not months but years
The children were diagnosed four years ago when the twins began to miss developmental milestones.
‘When we first got told they were autistic, I was so upset about it because I didn’t understand it. That’s all it was. Once I understood it, I realised it doesn’t change my children at all.
‘I think my husband buried his head in work and took any opportunity to go away and work. There is times when he just can’t cope with it. There are times when I want to shake him and say, “just get on with it. It’s not that big a deal.”
‘But then the softer side of me thinks how awful must it be to live in a house with children who maybe you don’t understand or maybe you wished didn’t have this condition. That must be really awful.’
Reflecting on how he coped with the diagnosis, Paddy said: ‘I got that down that I had to see a therapist and he diagnosed me with clinical depression.
‘I used to think I was the last person in the world who would have depression because I earn a few quid.
‘I didn’t instantly go, “oh I’m depressed because it was a very slow process. It chipped away at me, with all of the things you have to do, things you have to deal with as a parent of children with autism. It dawned on me that, that’s it, that’s it forever. There’s no “they’ll get better as the years go on”.
‘In that whole haze of clinical depression, if you’d have given me the chance to take autism away from my children, I would have said “yeah” but autism is part of who they are now, so why would I want to take away part of my children, which I love?’
He adds: ‘I love that about him [his son] so why would I want to take that away from him? It’s selfish really.’
Paddy and Christine McGuinness: Our Family and Autism airs tonight at 9pm, BBC One and BBC iPlayer
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